It’s not me, it’s the resolution.

For the record, my second attempt at risotto was even more spectacularly disasterous than the first, and creamed gravel is officially dead to me. Last night’s catastrophe succeeded, however, in reminding me that one should never attempt more than one unfamiliar dish per meal, and while I impressed the dickens out of myself with my first stab at butterflying a chicken, my off-the-cuff marinade was failblog-worthy and I am now responsible for that bird’s meaningless death. Poor Mr. P was severely disheartened after “dinner,” and we’ll be ordering pizza tonight, lest I clinically depress my entire family with another epic bungle in light of my recent vow to take more brazen culinary risks.

Moving on. If you’d like to learn how to butterfly a chicken, which enables you to cut both cooking and carving times, watch this short video, then set up your laptop in the kitchen to play/pause as you go. And hey, Chicken Fingers, don’t forget to sanitize the computer afterwards.

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